Chapter 6: The Quest Begins

Weeks had passed from the day I received my new squire, which followed shortly by our cornered acceptance of the highly dangerous quest to kill Alyximeme. Since then, we spent our days training, planning, eating, sleeping, training, planning, training, planning, more training and of course we also spent plenty of time in the toilet as well. That had become the only time I had to myself. Toilet time was very important as one needed to fix one’s moustache.

Today was the day we planned to set off for Qwantle, the land of the magic elves, in order to translate the coordinates of the Chateau du Alyximeme. We hoped that an assassination strategy would eventually come into place after we find the castle. Our team did not believe in planning too far ahead.

After years of training at the ADMI Academy, I trusted we were ready for our first real quest. I walked to the stables buzzing with excitement and nervousness as if it was the first day of school. I reminded myself of the danger and the treachery we had to face, and that armies of knights had stood together to face what I would. But nevertheless, they failed. My excitement somehow evaporated into thin air.

I swung myself atop my trusty stead followed by my teammates while Imbeseel jumped atop his squashed stead. I rode my horse to the woods next to the ADMI headquarters, closely followed by the rest of my team.

I looked back at the ADMI Academy, shaking off the thought that it may be the last time I would glance at it. The medieval-styled protective wall around the Academy was reinforced both magically and physically. The top of the wall bristled with ballistae, catapults, and archers as well as mages to prevent supernatural attacks. There were even several unicorns posted on guard as an over-paranoid way to counter Dark Magic.

“So, what was the plan again?” Imbeseel asked, punctuating each word with difficulty.

“Goodness gracious me!” Grubby cried out, “we told it to you like, nine - ten times!”

“Then whatsit?” Imbeseel asked.

“For the last time! ‘What’s’ and ‘it’ are two different words!” Grubby groaned in exasperation, “and everybody knows the plan, it is - uhhh, er, um…”

“Oh c’mon!” I moaned, slapping my face with my hand, “you guys should know that the plan is to - err - first we - umm, ahh…”

“Urf said we have to go pass the Troll Mountain Range to reach Qwantle and then we improvise.” Stump pointed out.

“Exactly! You guys should be ashamed, even Stump is smarter than you! Thank you for listening and remembering, Stump. I am glad we have one person who’s got their act together!” Urf sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Hey!” Grubby and I complained.

“I just don’t get it!” Stump suddenly burst out, “how are we supposed to defeat the most powerful wizard of all time by ourselves? We don’t even have a proper plan!”

“Don’t worry, we can deal with him!” I reassured him. Although, I could tell that the others were beginning to doubt me.

“Alyximeme was powerful enough even without dark magic, but when he got possessed by a dark Shadowlord he became infinitely more powerful. He has the power to destroy freakin nations!” Urf gravely exclaimed.

“Sheesh. Are you trying to scare him to death?” I hissed at Urf, noticing the paleness of Stumps.

Urf just shook his head sheepishly.

“If Alyximeme were to be dead, The one who shall kill will have much to learn…” I said, reciting the prophecy to Stump, hoping to make him loosen up.

Stump only grew paler.

I tried again, “We are trainees. It must be us who will eventually kill him. It is actually good that we are inexperienced, not to say that we cannot handle a real quest.

Everyone nodded without fully contemplating whether the reflex actions of their heads agreed with their hearts.

After several hours of our sore, traumatized butts bouncing up and down on horseback, we reached a point where the fog thickened into pea soup. Spider webs covered almost every surface. I lifted up my visor and squinted in order to see through the dense mist. Suddenly, I felt something soft and silklike touched my moustache. Spider web. I instinctively screamed, swinging my sword wildly. I hated spiders…especially when my most prized moustache was stuck in their disgusting webs!

“Hold still!” Grubby yelled.

He leaped off his horse and gracefully flew through the air. He landed with precise coordination on my horse, James Jr, and sliced through the spider web using his knives.

“Hehehehe!” A disembodied voice echoed throughout the woods, alerted by my scream, “Just as Alyximeme promised…Some canned human flesh!”

Hysterical laughter followed the message. Ghostly shadows were visible through the fog. We drew our weapons and went into a circular defensive position, with our backs facing the center and our eyes gazing outwards.

Without warning, a disfigured hairy face with eight beady eyes and razor sharp fangs dripping with venom tore through the mist. I plunged my sword into its ugly face before it could sink its fangs into me. The monsters we were facing were the Arachnae, gigantic spiders which can grow to the size of trucks. At the tip of each leg, there was a knifelike tip for mangling larger prey like cows or occasionally even elephants. The venom in its fangs was a fast acting neurotoxin that could kill within seconds. There was no known antidote.

“Run!” I yelled.

We broke formation and kicked our horses, although there was no need to as they already sensed the danger and began galloping away at full speed. The Arachnae chased behind in hot pursuit. Fortunately for us, spiders were genetically altered by evolution to trap prey rather than chasing them, thus giving us an advantage of speed. They fired bits of webbing at us out of their butts like Spiderman but we were already out of range.

“Why the heck were they there?” Grubby asked once we were deemed safe, “I thought the woods around the Academy was swept daily for Dark Magic activity!”

“I’m not sure…” Urf replied, frowning. Urf hated not knowing.

“Hey! The Arachnae said something about Alyximeme. Maybe Alyximeme put a cloaking spell on them to make them invisible to Dark Magic tracking charms,” I enlightened the team with my intelligence.

“Hmmm…if so, Alyximeme may know that we’re coming for him and placed them there specifically to ambush us!” Urf concluded as if it was originally his idea. “If this theory is correct, we are in grave danger and we need to be a lot more careful from now on.”

We all rode our horses through the path in the woods surrounding the ADMI Academy. By the time night fell, we managed to reach the edge of the woods. We each tied our horse onto a tree and made camp. The horses ate grass and leaves from the trees, while we fed them water from the nearby stream. Urf killed several birds and cooked them for our dinner over a campfire. We slept in turns to be on the constant lookout for danger.

The next day we woke up to the sound of a dwarf-made magical time tracking device, known as the C.L.O.C.K. We had a tasteless breakfast of oatmeal bars

“Bleagh! Why didn’t we get the premium creampuffs and buttermilk pancakes? This…thing tastes like cardboard!” Grubby whined. We ignored him.

After riding for several hours across a grassy plain, we finally reached the Troll Mountain Range.

The Troll Mountain Range consisted of sixteen gravelly and unpleasant looking mountains. Unlike the beautiful Rockies or the Himalayas, the Troll Mountain Range had mountains with barely any plants or icy snowcaps. It was not a home to furry and cute critters like rabbits and owls. Instead, it was home to bloodthirsty monsters like dragons and of course, trolls.

We rode up a narrow and slippery gravel path. This was hostile territory. Most trolls were created out of dark magic. The ones who were naturally bred, perished under their evil cousins.

Suddenly, the side of the mountain erupted into fire.

Click here to continue to Chapter 7: Dragons...